December 31, 2003 Edition
End Review 2003
statements from real people
are out there doing the real work.
I send you my
progress report since the Reno Workshop. Charles Faulkner mentioned that
people who couldn't feel their feelings are terrible decision-makers.
Before that weekend, I was desensitized: I had problems with sensing the
environment around me. Before, I didn't know the steam coming through
the floor tiles in the showers were burning my feet. Before, I cannot
remember what my dinner tasted like. I was a horrible trader, playing
out my dramas in futures. I was terrible at making up my my mind when I
was under severe pressure.
Now, I notice my feelings and reactions to saltiness, spiciness, heat,
light, pain. I bump my knee, and I stop to look at the red mark. It
hurts, like someone keeps pushing a stick into my leg. It's bleeding:
instead of ignoring it and telling myself it will be okay, I look at it
and say it's okay to put a Band-Aid on it. I put it on with some
ointment, and I feel good. For six months, I ignored my sprained thumb
and tendonitis - now, I see the doctor every week for therapy and I have
a cast on. For at least 10 years, I had double vision, esophoria, and
headaches - now, I had strabismus surgery done to straighten my eyes,
and I can see normally without straining myself.
Before I ignore - now I explore.
TTP and Hardball have changed my life. I used to have feelings of
paranoia, distrust, and I wanted to ignore warning signals, thinking
that "everything is ok". I wanted to do everything on my own.
I felt unstable, and I felt ashamed.
The wonderful support that I have from other tribe members makes me feel
I am cared for and loved for the first time in my life. They follow-up
with me, help me to clarify my goals and my dream, and keep me on task.
Other people around me at work, at home, and the new people I meet are
very supportive, and they want to me to fulfill my dream. Where were
these people before?? They were always there, and they always wanted to
help. People seemed distrustful because I was distrustful, people seemed
paranoid because I was paranoid .. now, people have "changed"
because I have changed!
Because I commit to the right livelihood, my dream comes true faster
than I imagined. I commit to start my commodity pool NOW, and I do not
wait! I feel confident, and the nervous tension in stomach disappears.
Everyone I know is helping me to keep the process moving along! When I
commit, I feel I can move a mountain ~
My proclamation for 2004:
I commit to good health by exercising, eating healthy, addressing
physical issues immediately, and balancing my work with free time for
fun and relaxation.
I commit to being supportive of my fellow tribe members, and to build
healthy relationships with the people I know, and the people that I
I commit to growing my commodity pool from zero clients, to the point
where I manage a large diversified portfolio with a low risk level.
I commit to look in the mirror, and make it the easiest thing to do. I
can smile and face the truth, and I can feel good knowing that Fred and
CM are always in communicating with each other.
Thank You Ed for helping me to face who I am.
My first exposure to TTP came in March of 2003. Since then, the changes
in my life have been profound. Besides a general improvement in my
trading, parenting, and being a husband, TTP provides me with a tool to
see myself more clearly. I am only now realizing the extent to which my
drama set influences virtually all I do. I see that I allow myself to be
enrolled in other's dramas, and that I try to enroll them in mine. I see
that I enable behaviors in others that fuel my dramas. I see that all
the decisions I have made in my life have brought me to where I am right
I see that I have a lot of work to do and TTP provides me with a tool to
assist in dissolving these dramas. My biggest experience with TTP came
from the Reno Workshop. A very intense experience which shows me the
power and potential of TTP and the Tribe. Following this workshop, some
recurring dramas have virtually disappeared and/or lessened in their
severity. My future progress is contingent upon my commitment to TTP.
Right now, I commit totally to TTP and the Tribal concept to make my
life better for me, my family, my tribe, and all I come into contact
that both my wife and I am healthy and energetic and we share love and
joy the rest of our lives. We are financially independence and commit to
helping others in need.
I commit to working hard at my job to build the capital for my trading
before I go out on my own.
I commit to developing and trading my own mechanical system which is
compatible with my own personality, highly profitable and consistent
with higher than 50% CAR and less than 15% drawdown in 2004.
I commit to taking measured risks and being responsible for my own
I commit to being friends with my own feelings and paying attention to
the positive sides of them.
I commit to improving my communication skills and interacting with
people without prejudgment and with patience and compassion.
I commit to focusing all my energy on the above goals and succeeding in
all aspects of them.
I live and enjoy every moment of NOW.
I have a
difficult time writing this. It's not that I don't want to share my
view/vision with you or FAQ readers. In fact, I tried to sit down and
tell myself to do this a few times, but my mind keeps changing from here
to there. I sat down and write a few sentences and suddenly a voice in
my head saying, "Wait a minute. Are you sure you really want this?
Perhaps that (something else) is what you need as opposed to this".
I rewrite this letter a few times. It's more like I am afraid of
something. I think I have a problem saying aloud what I want.
As you probably know, Taipei Tribe has been started since late October,
but I didn't get any letter of interest for a few weeks. I thought to
myself, maybe it's a good time to train myself to be a good listener. At
least, hey, being a good listener can't do any harm.
much in the skills of listening, I went through a few books - including
On Becoming A Person by Carl Rogers, The Art of Counseling by Rollo May.
(These two books I want to recommend to all the FAQ readers.) One of the
most overwhelming experience is when I read something Carl Rogers wrote:
The main obstacle to communication is "people's tendency to
evaluate." "This means seeing the expressed idea and attitude
for other person's point of view, sensing how it feels to the person,
achieving his or her frame of reference about the subject been
I found myself kept bumping into this similar statement at different
circumstances in different phrasing. "Judge" is "tendency
to evaluate". It blocks the flow, which means free communication,
which is sending and receiving. In essence, communication itself heals.
In my mind, receiving means listening and acceptance.
During the past few weeks, I become more and more sensitive to the
"flow" occurring around me. I constantly remind myself to
practice the skill of listening wherever and whenever possible. I
noticed some changes in me, even in people around me. I noticed that
when I play cello or guitar, what I am doing is a way of expression. In
fact, playing instruments can be sending and receiving at the same time.
I even noticed the history that people in South Africa dissolve racial
issue by simply "telling stories."
Ed, I want to thank you for all the changes you bring to me. You did
open a window. Finally, here's my vision to myself in my life. I want to
help people by receiving, and by eliminating unnecessary judgments. I
want to help people to find their right livelihood like you did. In
other words, I want to become you, Ed. I want to do exactly what you are
doing. Well, probably in different ways.
I feel relief after I write this. This letter is probably too long. I
have to stop here. Happy New Year to you, Ed, and to every reader of
All the best,
I make public
my desire to start a tribe.
How I use TTP:
I use TTP in weekly tribe meeting to experience my feelings and support
others. Since my wife is also now very familiar with TTP, so we use it
on on-going basis in informal setting and without any time schedule. As
issue arises we do TTP spontaneously and mostly it’s a short session
and we realize the effect right away; issue dissolves and obvious
solution arises with peaceful state of mind. I quite often use it with
my 5 years old son by encouraging him to notice how exactly he feels on
physical level. Other than local tribe and my wife I use TTP silently,
just as a receiver at work and other family members.
What results I am getting: Even though trading vehicles, position size,
risk % and tools I use evolve in my trading, but by heart I am an EOD
(chart) trend follower from the beginning. The use of TTP makes me stay
with my system and mostly I have very clear understanding of what I am
experiencing in the market without any attachment and doubt. By noticing
my feelings as part of natural living I accept uncertainty in market /
life and response accordingly.
According to my wife I am a better person and father since using TTP and
I notice similar changes in her. She also says that I am more patient
and kind to my two years old son than my older son, when he was two. I
also notice, that now I visualize my projects at work and home before
execution and note my feelings. This usually gives me spontaneous
insight and I execute my project / trade smoothly and my results seem
getting better and better. My trading account is also trending north and
up 5.1% since the Reno workshop in late October ’03. More importantly,
I am not jumping out of system and in better frame of mind. As an
example, I am currently in 2 trending positions and with add-on
(pyramid) on one position, instead of cutting my winner. This is quite a
progress in my behavior, especially after seven consecutive loosing
trades. I used to find a reason (jumping out of system) to cut my
winners after loosing streak; NOT ANY MORE!
What I intend to accomplish now: I intend to stay on this (TTP) path and
experience every moment of life with its purest meanings and form. On
the same note, I wish to keep focus and stay with ever evolving moment
of NOW to gain insights, catch and follow every trend life/market has to
offer. I also wish to share what I learn in FAQ and Reno workshop with
my family by setting up myself as an example of continuous improvement
God bless you to realize all your Snapshots with health
1) I proclaim
to the perfect health and a pat from my doctor on year-end physical
2) I proclaim to realize my Snapshot from Reno workshop.
3) I proclaim to fully Experience the Feelings, that stand between me
and my greatness.
I feel light warm sensation on my cheeks and slight pressure on my right
side of the head as I write these proclamations.
I commit to
taking the easy way and working hard, rather than taking it easy and
doing it the hard way.
I commit to managing my risk, following my trading plan, and letting the
discipline necessary to achieve that flow from me, rather than forcing
I commit to accepting what is in front of me.
I commit to love for my family, friends and fellow travelers.
I commit to starting my own business, and the effort and rewards that
will result from that.
I commit to honor my mind, body and spirit.
I started out
reading the FAQ and exchanging e-mail with Ed. As I kept focusing on
underlying "negative" feelings associated with dramas, I could
dissolve some of them through re-framing which facilitated the
experience. By then I could already implement "healthier
attitudes" in my life and trading.
Again with Ed's help, we worked towards dissolving the drama of
preferring isolation and agreement to community and growth (also known
as DIM process). I could ID that many of the underlying feelings were
associated with a mental dysfunction called co-dependency.
practice TTP with some family members, in a regular weekly meeting. This
is bringing our family closer together, helping us to dissolve
co-dependency dramas and I feel myself more open to community and
In trading I realize the importance of risk management, trading with the
trend, cutting losses short and riding winners. I also realize that
trading long-term is healthier and more profitable.
I found a difficulty in the path as a conflict with religion. Going with
the trend and not trying to figure things out, felt like apostasy or
trying to make friends with God and the Devil at the same time.
Eventually, I went with the flow of these very feelings and I
acknowledge that religion or faith is still optional, i.e., that I can
choose it consciously and freely.
All in all, I can say that TTP has helped me to become a happy, healthy
Best regards and Happy 2004!
is for the following goals:
I wish to get $20,000 dollars to honor a small commitment and use the
rest to fund my trading accounts with risk capital. I view myself
trading small, although in a very professional-like manner, with
adequate and common sense risk management, keeping a smooth rising
I wish to get a promotion in my job, with improved wages, in my current
I wish to date a beautiful, loving, caring and family-orientated woman,
for a serious, long-term (marriage) commitment.
I have been
reading your site for some time and I have gained much insight from
reading FAQ. As a beginner to the markets I have taken your advice
(below) and spent the best part of the 2003 reading much of the
literature you recommend and other literature related to trend following
mainly through www.turtletrader.com
Ed: "Until you master the basic literature and spend some time with
successful traders, you might consider confining your trading to the
I now feel it is time for me to proceed with starting a tribe in my
area, Limassol, Cyprus. I really appreciate what it is you do and I look
forward to supporting, being supported and growing as a person through
TTP and your website.
I wish you a joyous and healthy new year.
Thank you very
much for the Trading Tribe website. 2003 has been a great year for me.
You helped make it so.
I started reading the FAQ in March. I was "interested" in
trading, and I experimented with different systems for several years,
but never put forth any real effort. This spring I developed and tested
a system that I started trading on May 20. The results are well beyond
what I expected.
My results from reading the FAQ are also well beyond my expectations.
Now I think about Fred, and the dramas I create. I see my relationships
with other people from a different perspective. I have learned much more
about life than I have about trading.
Now I need to learn how to write and think in SVO-p.
write to give an update since the TTP workshop. My goal is equity surge.
Ironically right after the workshop, an equity downdraft almost
occurred. I stopped “attempting” equity surge and flattened. Later,
I discovered that I used force to “will” an equity surge rather than
allowing it to happen when both my style and market are in sync.
key insight to this occurred during a tribe meeting under hardball with
[Name] as my partner. As you stated in the workshop, usually between the
two that pick each other for hardball, one helps the other. [Name]
stated an insight for himself “let it happen” that resonated so
strongly within me that I laughed as internal tension resolved. His
words and intonation of “let it happen” dissolved my knot regarding
forcing equity surge. Subsequently, my equity increased as I got myself
out of the way.
general I find TTP a powerful tool that gives in direct proportion to
the amount I commit to the process and the emotional vulnerability I “risk.”
I find it an important and powerful tool to plumb unconscious feelings
that drive my life. I find masterful sending and receiving an art form,
a sometimes difficult one that I enjoy practicing. I appreciate my tribe
members and find great reward in receiving them and watching their
growth. Lastly, I appreciate your willingness to share TTP and the Tribe
process outside of Incline Village.
a personal note and as I mentioned in Reno, I appreciate your positive
and meaningful influence both when I was an apprentice and now a peer.
Many of the things you taught me back then took time to grow and
germinate. One was the importance of graphing my equity on a daily
my 55% drawdown with [Name 2] back in 1996 when I came to visit you at
Incline, I took a year and a half off to regroup emotionally. After that
period, I began trading again with a very small account - about 10K.
Following your advice as an apprentice, I began graphing my equity daily
from 12/13/98 to the present and find it a critically important tool in
my trading belt. It took me a while to understand its importance.
include it as a time weighted return below along with a corresponding
drawdown graph for the same time period. I named the account Phoenix
after my big drawdown. I wish to check in and show you how you support a
little fish find direction amid the currents, manage dangers and
predators, and swim, swim, swim with the trend. Cut losers, ride
winners, manage risk, TTP feelings, commit to win, hang out with the
markets, and be.
New Year, Ed. Peace to you and yours.
grumpy because ... reason 1, 2, 3
bashful because ... reason A, B, C
I'm sleepy because ... reason &, $, !
wicked because ... reason reason
ED and FAQ Community, THANK YOU. enough said.
My year end
feedback and proclamation.
It is very difficult for me to know where to begin except to say THANK
YOU, THANK YOU, and THANK YOU. Reno was a life changing trip for me and
the Tribe meetings just before Reno and especially after Reno. A huge fog
has been lifted; everything seems clearer, sharper.
My personal life
(ie. how I see things and people) is much better. My wife and I are as
close now as the day we were married. I use the TTP process with my
children and I am getting much better at it with them.
For some reason
it has been more difficult for me to receive with my children than with
fellow Tribe members.
I am a trader,
now and forever now. I know consistency is the golden key of success and I
have proven this to myself in my previous career. I know how successful I
was at trading in 2003 and it is a direct result of my consistent
behavior. I believe my performance will vary from year to year but not my
I do not know
all the answers or even some of the questions to ask but I know that they
are within me. I am much calmer than I have ever been in my life. I do not
have an attitude of me against them or a chip on my shoulder. It is what
it is and I am going with the flow.
I now trade
consistently day in and day out. I do still have trouble skipping off to
the non existent past and the non existent future but this has
dramatically decreased over the past year.
My wife has
commented that she notices a big change in me. I am more at “peace”,
“calm”. I have always had to own more, have more, do more, and I never
knew for what reason. Now I realize I have a beautiful wife, fantastic
children, a loving home and everybody has their health. I am very
fortunate and I realize it NOW.
I haven’t been
as consistent a receiver with my children as I would like to be but I am
working on that now. I can still improve my SVO-p capabilities now. I
believe SVO-p in itself can help more people in more ways NOW.
One update is my
huge AHA that I had December 4. I enclose my comments from my journal
notes that day regarding the AHA. “Reading the Market Wizard interview
of Ed did not leave me with any impression.
comments about Ed from his days at XXXX didn’t really leave me with any
impression either. XXXX told be about FAQ and I read it the first time and
boy did I have an impression then.
I thought Ed was
the most arrogant, sarcastic, condescending, biggest asshole, grumpy fart
on the planet” (SORRY Ed, I added these two words now). “Not that I
was asking myself why I thought that today but then it came to me, I
thought that because that’s who I am. Or should I say, that’s who I
was. I am no longer grumpy, condescending, an asshole, and hopefully not
arrogant. Wow what a change for me.”
TTP is now intertwined in my daily life encompassing my wife, children,
family, friends and neighbors. Even my neighbors have commented how “relaxed”
I seem. Because of TTP and the teachings from Reno I am a better husband,
father, I am more open minded, a better listener and trader. It is amazing
how I have improved in so many more ways than just with my trading.
My proclamation is to stay completely in the NOW. By doing this I will be
able to see and take action on all the opportunities in front of me
instead of fantasizing about opportunities that I missed or opportunities
that I am maybe about to embark on. Slightly playing on Al Davis’s
words, just stay in the NOW baby, just stay in the NOW.
I feel a sense of calm, near total peace, tranquil. By staying in the now
I enjoy balance with family and my right livelihood of trading.
I am sitting in
the carriage house in my backyard. I can hear the waves breaking off the
coast of Barcelona. It is around 2 PM and I am getting started to do my
chart screening and hour and half before the open. I am completely focused
with no distraction as I have finished all my errands and workout in the
morning. I feel like I'm ready to play Michael Jordan 1 on 1. As my alerts
go off, I effortlessly enter trades and pyramid into the winners and cut
the losers. This is what I was meant to do and I am fulfilling my destiny
for this point in my life.
I just felt an earthquake shake through my body for 20 seconds and I
finished proofreading this.
"Commitment carries power and magic so be careful what you wish for.
You may very well get what you want."
I am a believer now.
Happy New Year One and All
I wanted to
share some of my experiences and thoughts that are developing inside me
I am experiencing a profound change. Many aspects of my life have changed.
Below are some of the key areas.
Fred & Positive Intention:
I listen to Fred, and follow the feelings that Fred wants to express or
share. I pay closer attention to my feelings, and experience them
regardless of what the feeling happens to been, i.e. anger, happiness,
sadness, joy and fear.
that behind the feelings there is a positive intention. I don't suppress
I am not creating dramas in my life. I am learning how feel, as well as
relating these feelings to issues as they arise. I bring these issue and
feelings to my bi-weekly tribe meeting.
I feel I have value as a person. Many of my Codependent behaviors are
gone, some are still lingering, and I address these issues with my tribe
as they arise.
Now, I take more of what life has to offer. Yet, I continue giving back. I
feel I am more balanced now, taking and giving. I share my resources
because it gives me joy. I am taking and asking more from others, because
I enjoy receiving.
I am careful with whom I spend my time.
My time is
valuable. I am picking new friends with care, and allowing the
relationship to develop with the flow of the trend. Some friendships are
fading away, having invested so much into the relationship and not getting
anything back. My relationship satisfaction level is measured through
Fred, i.e. warm fuzzy feelings dictate a beneficial relationship while sad
and angry trending feelings indicate a stop is being hit.
Also, I am an acute receiver. I feel the feelings of others.
I see money as a tool. Money does not make me happy. It's the things I do
with money that make me happy, i.e. spending it with friends and family
and using it for financial freedom. My intention is to develop my money
making skills through the actions of trading.
I am presently developing and testing a computerized mechanical trading
system that will provide signals for entering and exiting positions within
the futures markets. I am willing to feel all the frustrations that are
conjured up while I am building and back-testing my system.
Living in the now:
I am thinking in the now. I look at my actions in the now and relate them
to how they can help me now.
The things I do now, help me now.
My physical health and spiritual health are more important to me. I am
careful about what I consume (this includes food and information). I am
feeding my spirit with music and developing enriching relationships.
This metamorphosis that is taking placing is truly staggering.
My actions and behavior are different now.
I hold on smile on my face and am at peace with myself.
Once again, thank you for being so generous in sharing your great wisdom,
it has made a remarkable difference in my life.
Tribe Process - TTP: Uses, Results, Intentions
I am not a regular member of a trading tribe, so most of my experience
with TTP is in applying the principles in everyday life. I find this is
having surprising results.
For me, the First Principle is: Experience your experience, especially
of my feelings, I give myself permission to experience them. Even when I
don't express them aloud to others, I find myself having many more
feelings, and more often, than I imagined I did. And among the most
prominent of them is anger. This both surprises me and doesn't. I know
when I get worked up about something, I get right to work on it. And in
the past, some colleagues have commented that I was difficult to be around
when I was "getting worked up". I hadn't given it much thought.
Now, I am noticing the beginning of those feelings. And I just get
started. They seem to be a lot less connected. I am also wondering if when
people would "give me space" if I was expressing feelings I
wasn't aware of. I know I am much more aware of my emotional expressions
whether I express them aloud or by other means.
I find I am also more aware of the many changes in mood / feelings of
those around me. And, again, I am surprised by their quantity and many
varied qualities. As these people are not in a tribe with me, I decided
not to engage them explicitly in the Trading Tribe Process (TTP). I do
endeavor to be a good receiver - without actually getting them to describe
where they feel their feelings. This means I mostly reflect back to them
their language and postures.
The effect, so
far, is more emotional expressiveness in my relationships. Again, I give
myself permission to experience, even sometimes celebrate, the emotional
expressions of others. In my experience, there are more emotions "in
the air," or at least more awareness of them, and this makes for a
more emotionally charged atmosphere. To continue the metaphor, there are
more rapid weather changes and also more clear skies. There is less
lingering overcast. It makes me wonder about how people - myself - manage
to keep to a narrow band of the same emotions. The idea suggests itself to
me that no being aware of one's feelings - when most everyone else is - is
another area to be explored with TTP.
This leads to what I intend to accomplish in the coming (now) year.
First, I explore my own feeling / not feeling
dimension / dichotomy - through a trading tribe and also in terms of
offering myself greater levels of permission. (At least I am wondering if
there are "levels of permission" similar to or the same as there
are stacks of judges.)
Second, I endeavor to engage those close around me more directly in TTP
sending and receiving - by modeling it in myself and by offering
Third, I assist you in organizing the materials you are receiving /
gathering in order to facilitate the distribution of the TTP material in a
manner and through the media of your choice.
A very Happy New Year to you and yours.
Prior to TTP, I
remember making a living managing some money, but feeling stuck on a
Remembering the events of 2003 brings up waves of gratitude. I recall the
spring day when a psychologist e-friend gave me your website URL, and I
spent all afternoon and evening in a cyber cafe reading the entire FAQ
saying Yes! Yes! Yes! and immediately asking to join the Incline Village
tribe. The next day you interviewed me by phone, and invited me for the
meeting that evening.
I volunteered for the hot seat and processed several layers of repressed
stuff, though at the time my head was spinning and I had no idea what was
going on or where the process was headed. Turns out, neither did anyone
else, and that IS the process ! I ended the hot seat session on the floor
with the Tribe's encouraging "lower, lower, that's it!" When I
got up, I was clear. Everyone congratulated me. My conscious mind could
barely believe there existed such a supportive group of people in my
business willing to receive stuff that might otherwise be repressed for a
The Tribe members presented new adventures in consciousness each meeting
during the year. Some came and went. Others stay as if glued as our
commitment and friendship grow. Each meeting we enjoy your generous
hospitality, insights, music, stories and humor.
As a direct result of tribe membership, my money management improved
significantly. It took a big AHA, maybe even an OHO, to fully accept that
intention = results, to cognize that Fred was communicating through my
reactions to the market. It is true, though, it is true, and even more
important --- I accept it is true --- and this aha itself draws awareness
out of imaginary concepts like 'past' and 'future' to do serious work
More memories come up: I unraveled other subtle knots through the hand
polarity exercise you taught at one summer meeting. I experienced being a
very different personality during one meeting where you taught [Name] and
I the hardball process. I saw my solution in his issue. I hired an expert
to code my system, ran tests with it, and in the clarity of precise
measurement made big adjustments to how I buy, hold, and sell. You advised
proclaiming that I am in the business of winning, and business is good. A
symbolic phenomenon occurs: a week later I am wearing four Superbowl
rings, the most winning symbol I can conceive
Interaction at the Reno Workshop further revealed the efficacy of the TTP.
Your invitation to assist continued the trend of practicing the work. That
weekend I experienced with others plugging in to the process and notice
If I hadn't tried it, I might assume centering one's awareness 'now' is
boring. The opposite is true. Boring is when my awareness is comparing
memories and judging relative excitement levels. In the now, I simply
begin to notice more. And more and more. First I notice how much energy
was spent mulling over past running comparison loops, anticipating future,
running apprehension loops. Next I notice more intricately how feeling
registers. Next, that in this now I can easily feel other's feelings too.
There is much more going on right now than there ever was in the past or
My family notices change. I read them FAQ's. They want to do the process.
I conduct family tribe meetings with good, tangible results.
So that's a summary of TTP 2003 experience. What a year !
I proclaim my
intention to continue developing trend-following methods and vigorous
I proclaim my intention to work on myself to be a successful trader, as
measured by money made under the risk that I can take.
I proclaim my intention to learn new programming language, to make it a
tool to assist me in developing trading strategies.
I proclaim my intention to practice "Intention = Results". That
means whatever results I get, I know it is my full responsibility.
I proclaim my intention to encourage the flow of communications from my
sub-conscious, be it via TTP, focusing or meditation.
I proclaim my intention to celebrate feelings, be it happiness, joy, or
sadness, grieve, frustration, anger, jealousy, excitement, disappointment,
or anything else.
I proclaim my intention to give more, and expect less. Giving not only in
monetary terms but also includes my love, attention, praise, prayers and
I proclaim my intention to become healthier, by drinking more water and
doing more exercise, including Yoga.
I proclaim my intention to learn, through reading and practicing, and
through an open mind to accept, embrace and even celebrate criticism.
I proclaim my intention to be approachable, always wearing a smile, and
helping others in whatever way I can.
I envision myself, at the end of 2004, looking back at my proclamation
here, with a smile of satisfaction, appreciation and victory, writing down
my proclamation for 2005.
How you use TTP
I use TTP
(mainly via the Trading Tribe) in conjunction with Focusing (mainly
myself). All of which encourage communication flow between sub-conscious
and the conscious mind.
What results you are getting
have difficulty feeling my feelings (which maybe an indication that I am
REALLY not intending to feel them, despite what consciously I think I want
to). However, I am delighted that as a by-product of the process, I am now
bringing in a lot more self-awareness.
What you intend to accomplish now I intend to continue working on
listening to my sub-conscious and pursuing the flow of feelings.
following trends in 2004, sticking to my system and celebrating ALL
feelings associated with my trading.
Best Regards and Happy New Year to you Ed and your family.
I envision a new
life for 2004
I envision my family life as being full of love and respect and free of
drama. My wife and I are raising our children to experience all the
feelings life has to offer without passing judgment on those feelings.
I envision starting a new trading tribe in my local community that will
help myself and others reach our fullest potential in our personal and
professional lives. I see myself expanding my knowledge and experience
with the trading tribe process.
I envision new friends and relationships that result in a more active and
interesting social life for my family and myself.
I envision myself being a consistent and highly profitable trader. My
trading is comfortable and free from the dramas that have prevented me
from reaching my potential. I experience all my feelings willingly and
fully with the intent of recognizing the positive intentions of my
feelings. My trading operation provides financial independence and freedom
for my family.
(This new vision for my life probably needs to be more specific. I suppose
the next step is to create a snapshot for each item.)
TTP ( living in the now ) I came to the place in me where I accept and
love myself more than ever before, accept and respect others as they are,
and share more joy and love with my family and friends. My trading is
going great. I've been learning and making a huge progress ( holistic
evolution ) in my development, not only as a trader, but in all aspects of
Being the member of IV-TT has been an altering life experience for me
because I just went with a flow without questioning or rationalizing my
actions, without understanding, just being drawn to it like a magnet. I
feel more trusting myself. I feel like I'm traveling lighter through my
life journey. I can clearly see what I have, and can share with others. I
know my purpose. Thank you for sharing yourself, Chief.
Peace, Love, Health, Wealth and Fulfillment to You and Yours Happy New
Nice to see you
again Fred !?!
You told me it's
about time to really take care about yourself. AHA, it feels good to feel
good and to make other people feel good as well.
Thank you Fred
for helping me to stop trading intra-day, I really want learn and do
something new. Thank you Fred for reminding me when I used to really like
what I was doing and there was no need to worry about the end result.
Thank you Fred
for helping me to overcome the fear about future; NOW I intend to do
things with passion. Thank you Fred for letting me know that trend
following is not just about the market.
Thank you Fr-Ed
and Review of 2003
Things that happen in 2003 in ascending order by date:
March: My review of my state of being leaves me wanting more and feeling
that change is at hand, but I do not know exactly what it is. I am not
satisfied in my employment, and I do not see at this point that I know
perfectly well what I am to do in order to achieve right livelihood. Knots
of suppressed feelings distract me from such a simple observation, and I
enroll myself and others in drama for lack of perceiving other choices.
June: I find FAQ and read it thoroughly. TTP and FAQ bring me a new
perspective and help evolve my thinking regarding my right livelihood.
They encourage me to feel my feelings and enable the flow of experience
from Fred to CM. I am not an expert in the method and there is much work
to be done, but my knots have loosened enough for me to think and feel
clearly enough to take the next step toward right livelihood.
July - September: I continue to practice TTP in my everyday life. I
continue to read FAQ. I start the [City] Trading Tribe, and I leave
employment as a stock broker and branch manager to trade full time
professionally. This is my right livelihood. (Funny how I don't hear of
any traders that quit to become stockbrokers. Did I read that on FAQ
September - December: Experience flows and magic happens. My life is easy
and stress free now that I am doing what I do, and I don't fight the tide
of being-ness by forcing myself to do things that are not in line with my
Oddly enough, I
am more financially stable now that I don't have a "regular
job." My family life is improved now that I make more time for the
things that are really important to me. I have no need to
"succeed" because I am already a success. I am me, and that is
enough. My business will work or it won't, but I am not attached to the
outcome. This allows me to stay more fully in the moment, which breeds
cleaner and better decision making, which might increase the chances of my
business thriving. This principle seems to be at work in many aspects of
my life. What a difference from only a few months ago. It seems that
allowing Fred and CM to be friends has a lot of interesting effects.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I am trading a lot more easily and profitably
too. There is a bull market in stocks on, of course, so that has something
to do with having long positions rising, but it does not have anything to
do with my ability to hold on to trends and watch open profits rise
without undue fear of loss. I had a history of selling early in a trend
and missing a great deal of profit. That tendency seems to be gone.
Hear Ye ! Hear
In 2004 I work with one or more trend following money managers who
mutually support, encourage, and accept that each result = intention. We
create and maintain clear agreements. We code systems, research and test
trading methodologies in new ways, and implement findings in trading
accounts. Word leaks out; capital floods in. Through consistent TTP, we
abreact to this success.
In 2004 I respond to increasing demand for experience of the TTP by
participating in meetings and workshops, formal and informal.
Proclaimed this last day of December, 2003 !
Thank you for your site Ed. I have gained much personal insight through it
this year, and have passed it on my interpretation of the TT philosophy to
friends, who have been grateful. Here is my submission for your 2004
I commit to:
+ The repair and re-building of a successful, mutually beneficial romantic
love relationship with the love of my life. I intend to give her security
and to help her achieve whatever she wants.
+ Using my computing skills and interest in trading to secure myself a
position in an investment bank or other similar financial institution.
Through this I will satisfy my curiosity for understanding the business
and organization of such a place, and also my demand for being in an
+ Daily study of programming languages (computer science is my main field)
and the development of trading systems -- on paper at first. Through this
I will gain experience in what works effectively in managing money and
will not be driven by excitement when trading for real.
+ I intend to become successful in the area of property ownership, rental,
and development. Through this I will gain long-term security and a fine
home for myself, my family, and friends to enjoy.
+ Remaining focused on the results I desire on a daily basis, and using
exercises such as the trading tribe process and calm goal-setting like
this. This practice enables one to be rational in a sea of entropy.
Writing this down, and proclaiming it public strengthens the meaning of
the words themselves. It makes me feel that I must be more precise in what
I am planning to do. This precision feels comfortable and right. Having
what I want means the release of pressure, of demand, and knowing that
life is wonderful.
Thank you once again.
I have good
results with TTP. TTP really helps me "stay in the now" and
"go with the flow of the markets." I can easily isolate my
physical feelings now and this helps me to really feel these feelings. My
fellow tribe members / receivers help me to stay focused on my feelings
when I have the urge to run away and hide from the feeling.
TTP helps me focus on the bigger picture in both the markets and in life.
My personal path of least resistance becomes clear when I focus on the
bigger picture and it's easy to go with the flow.
Thank you for
offering me the opportunity to provide feedback about TTP, and to make a
I have not formally used TTP in a group setting. I discovered FAQ and
devoured it during the Fall. I volunteered in mid - December to be the
[City] Tribe contact and there is not now a tribe of at least two people.
I await the trend.
I work hard to act as a good receiver elsewhere in my life. I also keep a
journal and try to play both sides of sending and receiving. The results
are limited, and I am eager to try it in a real tribe setting. However,
the results are positive. Your analogy of the difference between reading
about sex and sex makes your point very clear, but even reading about sex
produces positive results.
The proclamation I have is simple: I want to spend time with my family.
1) In American culture, time and money are interchangeable.
2) Being a good trader generates money that I can exchange for time.
3) The most significant part of being a good trader is dealing with it.
4) TTP is far and away the best solution for handling my emotions
Therefore, I want to experience TTP so my system of trading can run
unencumbered by my emotions. Of course, spending time with my family lets
the system run untouched. TTP is the backup when the family is asleep.
I'm risking that a certain amount of time with TTP will create excellent
trading results allowing me to spend more time with my family. And, the
amount of time with TTP has an optimal value: not too timid where the time
spent doesn't produce a significant change, but not too bold where I spend
more time in TTP than with my family.
Happy New Year!
It is my goal
for 2004 to be happy in my own skin.
To experience the feelings my life presents me the same way I trade: To
accept what is before me, follow healthy trends and not seek fundamental
reasons of how or why.
To continue to be an active member of my tribe; my family, and to
experience their love and respect for me and to mirror that back to them
so that we all may bask in each others happiness and beauty.
To live a healthy lifestyle and treat my body/mind with greater respect.
To continue to grow as a trader and a person. To experience equity growth
as an offshoot of right mindset/right livelihood.
To receive what is in shown to me and reflect the love that the world
My snapshot is of myself riding my surfboard while watching my children
play with my wife on the sand down the hill from our house. I can feel the
saltwater drying across my shoulders and my mind is relaxed, my trades are
entered, my risk is contained. I can hear my daughters laughing. There is
a good Trend (wave) coming, and I act decisively, pushing off to be a part
of it. I am smiling.
Happy New Year to you and yours.
intentions = results
TTP echoes from
It "... is not just thinking with the head, but the state when the
whole body is involved in and applied to the solving of a problem..."
"For the unconscious then permits its privileged disciples ... to
have glimpses of its infinite possibilities."
D.T. Suzuki, Zen and Japanese Culture
No thinking, no reflecting, --
Yet therein something moves,
Following its own course.
from secret documents of the school of Shinkage-ryu
For my own part:
Once fog, a path now clears --
The weight of my being,
alive in the world.
I commit to my
purpose of serving others by making them rich and powerful.
I commit to accomplishing my purpose through disciplined, healthy, and
profitable trading style.
I commit to serving more people than ever before.
I commit to full participation in life in this ever changing Now.
I commit to Love.
PS I just want to say thank you for everything and have the best year yet,
living on purpose, in the now.
Happy New Year to You and Yours
Thank you for
being you. Happy New Year.
How I use TTP
The Jade Master talks about tree frogs as I hold a piece of jade in hand.
Amidst humor and wit, I seem to learn something about receiving my family
and myself. One day, it dawns on me that I am learning a little about
To receive markets, I become a little more patient and a little less
judgmental. I validate what the markets feel. I am a little more
sensitized to the flow.
Results of using TTP
I become aware of the need to receive my family. I get a glimpse of what
is possible. I improve gradually. Thank you Ed!
Trading-wise, I back test my strategies through simulation and that helps
me maintain optimism in periods of inevitable drawdowns.
I seem to apply some basic risk management techniques better than before
using TTP. A simple example: I now pyramid “to the line” and not above
it. I know this concept years ago but now I can feel my feelings enough to
put the concept into practice. As a result, the size of my average loser
shrinks. My bet size is consistently smaller than before TTP despite
growing equity. My equity volatility is very low. I sleep well.
I enter positions as my system gives signals. I set stops for entries and
exits. I welcome inaction as an essential part of good trading. My winning
rate is well below even odds at 33%. I accept this percentage and see it
as necessary and even wholesome for my way of trading. I learn to sit with
a favorable trend a little longer and a little calmer. I flow a little
easier. My equity grows.
What I intend to accomplish now
I intend to receive my “essential tribe” well. I intend to validate
rather than judge.
I intend to practice being in the now.
I intend to re-dedicate myself to my profession. I do not intend to become
a full-time trader yet.
I intend to lengthen the holding time of my trades from weeks to months.
I envision and
intend managing new money from my family and friends.
I intend being even better at my trading than last year.
I envision superb trending-markets to trade.
And I intend spending more time with the best tribe on earth, my family.
I wish you, Mr. Seykota, and your family a happy new year!!
Here is my
proclamation for 2004.
My intention is to develop and use a computerized mechanical trading
system. The purpose of the system is to provide trading signals on
entering and exiting positions within the futures markets and to keep
track of position holdings.
This intention is congruent with my commitment to my dream snapshot of
resigning of from my role as an employee.
My intention is to use the mechanical trading system to steer me towards
right livelihood and helping others achieve financial freedom.
I trade for my
February 2004, I practice chi gung standing meditation during the market
In June 2004 I
found the trading tribe website and since then I am a regular reader of
FAQ. While I am not a member of a tribe I find similarities between the
benefits of my standing meditation and the experiences of FAQ contributors
regarding dissolving suppressed feelings which affect ones trading, and
behaviour in every day live. I notice positive changes in my trading, and
in those around me.
I now try to be aware of receiving / celebrating the feelings of those
around me but this tends to be limited to obvious situations. I find it
easy to slip back into old patterns of not validating feelings during the
process of every day life. Reading FAQ helps keep me on track to continue
to improve becoming a better receiver. My intention now is to become a
better receiver in the process of everyday life.
Your insights are also greatly appreciated. 60% of my positions are now at
or close to all time highs, 38% at 2yr highs and 2% is a “value” based
position – ahh well there are still some feelings regarding placing
fundamentals before the trend that want expressing which I am quite at
ease with. Three years ago the positions were the other way round.
Thanks to you Ed and all contributors to FAQ and may you all have a great
In summary of my
experiences of TTP in 2003, I was fortunate enough to find your site early
in the year. I have been able to understand and visualize a method so I
can trade with the trend and let the trend continue.
I have read FAQ
twice and printed many of FAQ and put them on my cupboard doors and keep
reading them over and over to maybe get an aha or something to be
remembered. I take it you have seen the movie "Hardball" and I
found the movie "Hardball" in a video store and watched it a
couple of times. I am not sure if it had a lot to do with the Hardball
Process and what is stopping me from being great but I took note of the
scene where the little kid is told by the coach it is OK to have a look.
I watched the
Grand Final 2003 of Australian Rules where my team has won three years in
succession and qualifies here to being a great team and one of the
commentators gave the opinion that the opposition had all day had a look.
I have read the book "Sacred Hoops" by Phil Jackson and I found
he talks about going over and over team moves until they get the aha.
|I see myself enjoying a
greater sense of peace and resolution, as I fully experience the dramas
and anxieties in my life, thereby dispelling them.
This sense of peace leads me to become the best I can be as a trader and
as a person, since the two go hand in hand.
Most importantly, I see myself influencing others through my sense of
peace, allowing them to also become the best they can be.
P.S. Ed, thanks for the sense of peace that you have shared with the
readers of your website. Best wishes for the New Year.
Feedback and Review
I am a regular
reader of FAQ, and have benefited immensely from the wisdom of your
replies, and sometimes from the questions themselves.
TTP – has become a way of life for me, as a great tool in enhancing my
social and family communication skills. Because of the formidable
reputation that you enjoy, I have preferred to accept, without judgment,
the TTP process, and have focused on whether the results are beneficial to
‘… When Fred communicates long-repressed feelings with CM, you may
experience a cathartic release of pain and get an AHA …’ - Ed
I have had the most incredible (DIM) ‘AHA’s’ in matters of the
heart, which CM could not figure out for many years.
As I immerse myself in experiencing the feelings, which were earlier being
avoided, the ‘aha ‘ often connected two issues which were logically so
far removed !
Happily, then the feeling becomes an ally, and the process is validated to
experience more feelings which I normally tend to avoid / label.
Admittedly, the ( DIM ) process has its limitations, as I often abandon
the attempt to experience the feeling – without arriving at an ‘aha’,
or without getting to the positive intention behind the feeling.
I do want to
start a local Tribe – but feel constrained in opening my heart to
non-traders / people who may not view the process with the same
commitment. ( I have made contact with the [City] tribe – and we shall
grow the group – )
I refer to your FAQ replies on a regular basis, as a ‘tutorial’ to
keep my thoughts on track. I seek to better myself as a person, as a
trader / money manager, and to continue to be worthy of being your fellow
I often return to my thoughts after consulting with you in May 2000, and
recollect that much of the wisdom from FAQ was communicated to me then too
Thank you Ed.
I first read the
FAQ in the beginning of 2003. It had an immediate impact on my trading
without Ed telling me exactly how to trade. I think it saved and made me
several thousands of dollars when Ed answered some of my questions with
wisdom, humor and patience.
I figured if I saved and made thousands of dollars with Ed's help over the
Internet and e-mail ... How much could he help me in person? I decided to
go to the TTP Workshop.
As I left Reno from the Workshop I did not know that there was a change
occurring inside me. On the flight home I was wishing I could get some
more processing and practice of TTP. I only felt that I scratched the
surface of getting processed.
A few weeks later I noticed a calmness. My hand stopped shaking. I had not
realized that it was shaking until it stopped. I made some very good
trades in this time.
After that I made some bad trades but they did not get away from me and I
was able to cut the losses very quickly and nicely.
I also began to practice futures trading a few weeks after the Workshop. I
had primarily traded stocks for many years before that. I had wanted to
trade futures for a long time.
In the last few weeks of this year I was able to edge out some more gains
and will end up over 100% for the year.
Today I had my first meeting about starting a hedge fund. A friend wants
to raise money for me. He wants me to manage and run a hedge fund with him
as the marketer. He happens to live in a very affluent area and has many
contacts who are looking for ways to invest their money. I feel like money
is coming towards me for some reason?
It is almost like I am doing nothing and the things that I wanted to occur
are beginning to take form?
I write mostly of the progress in my trading because, after all this is
the Trading Tribe, however I am carrying the lessons learned into many
aspects of my life.
In summary TTP has been very helpful to me and I hope this forum run by Ed
Seykota lasts for many years to come. There is so much more I would like
We should have the next Workshop in Tahiti!
I proclaim to
give of myself to my family and my friends and to those who enter my
presence ... I will spread ... love, peace and happiness at all times by
receiving those around me as they wish to be experienced. I now allow them
to melt away dramas one by one.
I proclaim to listen more and to talk less. To ask more questions and to
I imagine being father for the first time in my life in August!
I accept the responsibility of receiving and managing funds and thus begin
my new career of money management finally after 17 years of practice.
I accept the responsibility for my health and now take special care of my
body as Gods temple. I do not accept this just for myself, it is also so I
can serve others for a long time to come, in good health "God be
I take responsibility to continually learn about the World around me.
I commit to stay in the now.
I commit to give thanks now.
"Thank you teacher."
insightful content on e-TTP in Y-2003. Sometimes I catch myself thinking
that it would be a pity, if one day TT FAQ is not available anymore.
With all the best wishes for the New Year,
TT FAQ is one of the very few web sites I visit regularly. Not that much
to learn anything new, but enjoy things from a different / unique angle.
As well, nice when nobody tries to sell anything or exercises
brainwashing, but focuses on issue.
existing trading systems like a well-oiled war machine. If the results
fall in designated range (-50/+120), enjoy and press ahead, if not,
reevaluate. Keep working on system development. Work on the plan to
prepare basis for leaving current top management position for full time
trading and asset management activities (be ready by early 2005).
Keep balanced perspective on life with time for family and vacations, with
meditations and workouts as regular routines. Avoid burnouts.
I proclaim that this coming year I will be a better son, father, and
I proclaim I will be a better husband, trader, citizen and Christian. I
envision having Fred working and communicating with my CM.
I proclaim to
being more relaxed, successful, trader.
having better health, better people skills.
I will celebrate
my feelings and get to the zero point.
I proclaim that
2004 will be a great year! AHA
I am envisioning
friends, family and clients taking the time to express their gratitude
towards me. They are thanking me for helping them achieve their goals and
for enriching their lives.
I pro-claim my intention to realize my vision by:
- Being a compassionate receiver.
- Being non-judgmental towards others and accepting them exactly as they
- Being an active participant in the constant state of "NOW" by
using all my senses to truly experience life.
- Celebrating my feelings and looking at them as friends with positive
- Working hard at helping others achieve their goals and deriving
satisfaction from doing so.
- Taking care of my health.
- Cultivating and maintaining relationships with friends and family.
As I write this, I feel a sense of exhilaration. My heart is fluttering
and beating a little faster than normal. The core of my torso feels light
and fluffy almost as if it is floating up like a cloud. This is a
wonderful sensation and I am enjoying every bit of it. I am feeling quite
at ease with my proclamation and I have every intention of achieving my
Thank you Ed for allowing me to express myself here.
I have been
faithfully reading the TTP FAQ's for about a year now, and wish to make my
New Year's proclamation, with mucho el entusiasmo!
I see myself take the final step (through hands-on testing with
experienced traders) to bring my trend-following trading technique from
paper and back-testing into real-time, real money trades. I overcome my
doubt and feelings of hesitation about taking the 'first step' due to my
unresolved fears of new things and failure.
I also look forward to my first Trading Tribe meeting in January, to
experience and resolve the feelings that are getting lost between Fred and
CM, so I can appreciate and dissolve them and the dramas of fear and
procrastination that they drum up. I am excited to help others improve
their lives through this tribe process as well.
I improve my financial situation through "right livelihood",
whether it be trading or some hidden talent, and use it to help my grown
daughter move closer to my home and spend more quality time with her. I
also use this new-found emotional freedom to find a way to help her pay
for college tuition.
The New Year is full of new experiences, helping those I care about as
well as those I meet, and finally experiencing my own, long-repressed
finding a soul-mate to spend the rest of my life with myself and my two
young children. My intention is to embrace the love as it presents itself
in my life.
As my current employment will come to an end sometime in 2004 (downsizing)
- I make a commitment to be trading full-time on my own when this
inevitable event occurs. I will embrace the freedom by spending more time
with my children's activities and working on my golf game and fishing
1. Right now, by
my own actions and intentions, I take the path of least resistance and
blossom into a successful trader.
2. I measure my success by my risk adjusted return, and not by other
methods, such as being right.
3. My monetary success is coincident with, and not a precursor to, success
in my other spiritual, social, and intellectual endeavors.
I know that, as I act based on my intentions (now), my commitment
naturally brings about the intended results (now.) I pro-claim my
intention to be a successful trader, I see my commitment as my investment
in my intentions and my results as my return on investment.
This brings up some feelings of nervousness (butterflies in my stomach,
and hot tingly feeling in my hands like the 'coach is putting me in the
I know these
feelings are a friendly reminder that the time to act is now, and I use
TTP to help celebrate these feelings (as opposed to being nervous about
bewilderment also come up (I feel like a wide-eyed infant, seeing
opportunities without boundaries, looking at myself, and the world without
comprehension of borderlines.) I use these feelings as another entry point
A new and
wonderful thing I envision includes trading from beach home I own with my
family. The home has a view of the both the ocean and beach.
I proclaim to ride trends longer, experience equity surge and continue
trading full time (for the first time), nurture/grow my business, and
manage client money. I proclaim to care for my family, contribute to the
well-being of my tribe members/others, and meditate on a consistent basis.
I commit to achieve the above vision and proclamations, which includes the
continuation of some I already experience.
I can see myself
managing a $10,000,000 fund in 2004. I intend to accomplish this goal by
continuing my discipline of managing risk, decreasing my obsessive
defensive anxiety, and increasing my healthy anticipatory anxiety.
I intend receiving/entertaining all persons I encounter without prejudging
if they will serve my selfish interest. I just celebrate them for being
who they are and be there for them all the while.
My renewed and rediscovered welcoming behavior will naturally animate
whether I am in the process of selecting my trading instruments,
befriending a lady or a gentleman for the first time, hanging out with my
love ones, hosting a fiesta, captivating a potential investor, or just
smiling to a stranger.
I proclaim to:
1. doing what I enjoy most and best at,
2. just being my gregarious self,
3. just let things naturally fall into place, and
4. do this NOW.
My Goal for 2004
is for me to fully Experience the Feelings that stand in the way of
trading my strategies with Discipline. I commit to Letting go of Control,
Getting out of the way and let 'It' trade.
As I write this I have a feeling of warmth in my hands, I feel a knot in
PS. Interesting exercise; unlike others who posted, interesting to note
that it is hard for me to envision something wonderful happening in my
life, I don't feel confident about my future, feeling uncertainty, lack of
trust that it will happen.
hmm.. I have much work to do !
workshop and TTP is making a positive impact on my life, however I am not
firing on all cylinders. I conduct TTP sessions with my wife and broaden
my horizons on Jan. 7th when I attend my first London tribe meeting.
As of Dec. 1st I
work in a new trading environment and this change creates some right
livelihood dramas. The work environment is a ripe breeding ground for Fred
induced dramas led by the fact I sit 18 inches away from the EBS machine.
Yes, it is like having a slot machine on my desk.
The TTP sessions
with my wife address some of the issues, but the process has limitations
for me as it is my wife rather than an independent intentional community.
I still revert to old habits frequently followed by thoughts that this
'should' not happen because I know about TTP, attended the Reno workshop,
and have been taught by Ed and Charles [Faulkner]. In short, I replace TTP
with DIM and wonder why Fred is in control again. DIM DOES NOT WORK and I
am a prime example.
I know I am on the cusp of dissolving the layers of drama and experiencing
feelings for their true intention. Every time I read FAQ, exchange emails
with other Reno participants or speak with them on the phone, the powerful
feeling and sense of greatness that resulted from the workshop returns.
TTP with the family is great, but something is held back. The London tribe
attendance replaces DIM with TTP and allows me to honor my proclamation.
Thanks again for providing the FAQ learning forum and sharing your methods
with me in Reno.
I commit to a
diet and trading style that is healthy and disciplined.
The measure of success is a 15 stone weight goal and profitable trading
Things I do /
not-do when now is 2004
- I have a $1 million personal brokerage account balance.
- I evolve every day by implementing TTP and feeling my being-ness in all
I do / not-do.
- I visualize my snapshot vividly and intensely every day and then let it
- I run an efficient and profitable trading business effortlessly and with
- I spend my day with my family, reading, exercising, and developing
trading systems, since trading takes such a small part of the day.
I sit in front of my computer screen. Classical music from NPR plays on
the radio in the background. Soft morning sunlight streams between the
half open slats of the window blinds behind me. I feel at ease,
effortlessly doing the tasks at hand and enjoying the experience as it
flows. I have three windows open on my screen. One is my brokerage
account. It contains all of the day's orders, which I key in and cue up
before the open, and it shows my personal account balance of $1,000,000.00
in cash and open positions. Another is an Excel spreadsheet showing the
composite equity curve of all my managed accounts, smoothly and steeply
rising from left to right with gentle peaks and valleys. The third is the
quarterly letter to my investors that I am presently writing in a Word
document. It begins, "I am pleased to report another stellar quarter
for our trading program." Life is good. I let it go and set another
goal, this time the bar is a bit higher.
P.S. - The not-do thing is a bit of Taoist type phrasing that helps me
capture and express my feelings regarding what it is like to flow
effortlessly with the tide of being-ness in the evolving moment of now.
This is as opposed to forcing things and "doing" upon them or to
them in order to create a result in the nonexistent future.
It is my goal to
provide my family with everything they want, make them happy every second
of the day, create the perfect family environment with love, warmth,
encouragement and support.
It is my goal to be financially independent and debt free.
It is my goal to help others in finding their way in the same
extraordinary manner I found mine.
I commit to realizing my goals now.
In 2004 I will
become more balanced in the area of socializing, both with women and with
friends (see ugly posts). This involves going on dates with women, and
going to do things with my buddies on a regular basis.
I pro-claim my intention, and have already started to reclaim some of my
friendships, as I looked up my best friend from college yesterday who I
had not seen in a few years.
As I write this, I feel a sense of balance coming back into my life. I
also feel a sense of becoming a normal person again, as I was playing out
a drama of isolating myself from relationships with women the last 5-6
years, as well as not doing things with my buddies. I want to note that I
also had isolated myself as a child when I was teased, so this drama had
been playing within me most of my life, because when I did not know how to
respond to a social situation properly I would just withdraw into
assets under management will increase to $25,000,000. My intentions will
be accomplished as a result of the exceptional trading performance as I
naturally follow my trading system.
I envision the
coming year to be full of good health for myself and my family, a constant
positive view on life, and excellent relationships with family members and
On the professional front, a desire to continue to improve on my
investment skills, and to be among the best money managers in the world.
I shall do everything within my power to realize the above goals, keeping
my professional and family life in balance always.
Chop Wood ...
Carry Water ... Write FAQ
Lake Tahoe, December 2003